Lightning Strikes Twice, Thrice… Six Times Against Kings

Thanks to Tampa Bay for describing in statistic form just how bad this game was going to be. I had low expectations coming in but wow. It was hard to watch. The Lightning is the best team in the league by 12 points for a reason. And the Kings are sitting dead last for a reason too. Despite Kopitar’s audition for the All-Star team in the first 15 seconds, the high lasted about that long. Phaneuf and Paquette got into some roughing activities after the 2:55 whistle, so there was some 4-on-4 action. Which was the best ‘special teams’ action the Kings got, because did I mention things went downhill? So. Far. Down. It began when Leipsic was called for a high stick at 5:20. Four minutes. Against the best power play in the league. Okay, deep breaths. Then Brown was called at 6:11 for hooking. So doing some math – that’s a long 5-on-3. 17 seconds later after points leader Kucherov’s first goal, it was still 5-on-3 for 1:43 because Leipsic’s first penalty was taken off the board. Then their goal leader Point got his first of the game with 18 seconds left in Brown’s penalty but for some reason, he was let out of the box and Leipsic remained for 36 seconds. The sequence felt long, but really barely took up any of the first; there was still plenty of time to give up more goals! Quick made a few nice sprawling saves that proved he could still do the splits, however sometimes when he does them too early other players pick the gap he’s left open above him and score on him. This time it was Callahan and dear Lord there’s still 6 minutes left in the first period?! There are two more of these?! Send help. Mercifully, no more blood was shed in the first…

… but 25 seconds into the second McDonagh made it 4-0 Lightning. It was never going to be an easy game but they just made it look easy. The only thing the Kings were getting right were the hits, in which they were figuratively (and kinda literally?) killing them. Oh and face-offs but when you can’t do anything with the puck when you get it, winning those doesn’t do much good. Even a Kings power play yielded no results. It was a breakaway from Wagner who put the Kings on the board; his speed combined with an incredibly well-placed shot got them past Vasilevsky 7:55 into the second. But if you were expecting this to be the beginning of a comeback, you would have been disappointed. If you expected that to be one of the only highlights of a game where the first place team plays the last place team and the difference is glaringly obvious, well that’s what you got. When Carter got a breakaway and skillfully passed to an open Leipsic who had an open net to shoot at, you had to wonder if the shot totals from the last game and this combined to such a small amount that perhaps when given the chance, the Kings had just forgotten how? There doesn’t even seem to be any reason at this point for the Kings to be so bad. Their penalty kill percentage took another hit when Kopitar was called for Forbert’s high stick (yes I know that sounds weird, but the ref clearly missed who actually did the deed and called Kopitar, also missing the replay on the jumbotron clearly showing it was Forbert behind the play who caused the infraction.) Stamkos took this one, his 23rd of the season. (To compare, Kopitar has only 26 points.) Oh my, there’s still 3 minutes left in this period. And a whole other period to sit through. Send help. The highlight possibly of the game however did occur in the dying minutes of the second, when Wagner smashed Anthony Cirelli into the boards (as I said, hits were up for the Kings, though it didn’t seem to slow Tampa down much), elbowed Wagner back in retaliation, leading to Thompson stepping in and roughing up Cirelli on Wagner’s behalf. While the situation could have led to the Kings having a 2 man advantage for 2 minutes – the play occurred as Tampa had too many men on the ice – it was clear the Kings weren’t going to be able to do anything with that, and I’ll take Thompson stepping up for a teammate any day. That’s the kind of penalty you want to take. Oh, and Muzzin hit the post as time expired. So close, in so many ways.

So. We made it to the third without too much death, but it was 5-1 so really it was one of those slow deaths, where they stick you with needles until you just can’t take it anymore. Couldn’t convert the rest of the power play. Couldn’t do anything 5-on-5. Couldn’t convert a second power play. Let them score a 6th right after. Make both Drew Doughty and Jonathan Quick look like Jr Kings on the play. (Seriously it was shameful.) With each passing shift, the Kings just looked lost, outplayed, and defeated. Doughty’s power-play goal to close the third came as little consolation, though did make their power play percentage not quite as pathetic. At least when they played Vegas New Years Day they put up a fight. (Well, the defense did. Campbell stood on his head. The forwards couldn’t get a shot on goal for literally 18 minutes in the second period. I digress.) This was not a game to relive, it was a game to shamefully put away in a corner and pretend never happened. Or at the very least watch what Tampa did to see what you’re missing Kings. It’s over halfway through the season now. What excuses to the Kings have left?