Yotes Officially Eliminate Kings from Playoffs

I’ve been saying it for some time now, but tonight the Kings (thanks to the Yotes of all teams) made it official. They will not be going to the playoffs for the second time in three years. It was much more fun when they won the Stanley Cup for the second time in three years.

In the most LA Kings game ever, I couldn’t help but tear my hair out. (Not literally but COME ON Kings.) In the first 5 minutes they had 6 shots on goal, the Yotes had none and my fears that of course the first shot they had would end in a goal almost came true. I mean it should have been. Quick is extended right. Puck is slid across the crease to the left. Brayden McNabb is out of position and he net is essentially empty. But Jonathan Quick y’all. Johnathan. Quick. He’s barely even looking, his leg swings up like a preying mantis or something and bats the puck away with his knee. It’s in the video. Worth watching. Spared from the inevitable “Kings outshoot their opponent yet give up the first goal moment” the Kings got a power play. In which they did nothing. I mean slightly more movement that I’m used to so improvements have been made but basically nothing. And when they had a PK of their very own they wasted little time in giving up the first goal to a team whose second last in the division. A coaches challenge confirmed the goal was offsides so what did the Kings do? Played for 11 more seconds and gave up another goal with 13 seconds remaining in the period. Face palm. (But truly, how LA Kings is that?)

If possible, the second period was even more depressing. They gave up a second goal 3:09 in, an easily avoidable situation is they could actually control the puck and clear the zone when necessary. For a period of 9:42 they didn’t have a shot on goal. This is ARIZONA. The only team they’re doing better than in the Western Conference is Colorado, which is not a difficult feat. Why, oh why, do the Kings okay down to opponents? Especially considering how fortunate they were the Predators lost to the Blues today and there was still a chance at the beginning of the game to make the playoffs? It was a sad attempt from everyone not named Quick or Doughty. McNabb did McSmash a Yote into his bench so hard he fell into it, but that was really the highlight of the period. There was a power play, but let’s not talk about that shall we? It’ll just drive you to drink.

3:09 into the third the Kings were unable to clear the puck several times so the Yotes made them pay, with a goal so obvious the cleaned up rebound could be seen from space. In the first of four penalties the Kings were gifted, (the first wasn’t really gifted, it was blatant tripping but in a period where they desperately needed to score four power plays should have been able to do it, right?) Martinez made up for being in the box during the Yotes first goal by scoring the Kings first (and alas only) goal. He didn’t so much score the goal as he shot the puck and the Yotes were unlucky enough to have it deflect strangely off of two of their defensemen and in past Mike Smith. Three power plays later the Kings were doubling the Yotes total shots yet had half of their total goals. Really this game had every Kings cliche in the book. It was ridiculous. They even pulled Quick with 1:22 ineffectively, thus ending our misery and their playoff contention officially. Le sigh.